With a culture that likes to focus on the divorce rate of around 50%, couples are finding it increasingly difficult to work through the challenges and obstacles in marriage. Society tells you if you are unhappy, than it is time you graze greener grass. Find your "soul-mate," because the first one you walked the aisle with is not working out so great. Unfortunately, many do succumb to this pressure, which can often leave a broken family. And how do you put a puzzle together when you are missing the important pieces: a father or mother; husband or wife? What are some steps a married couple can take to prevent themselves from becoming another statistic?
An Ephesians 5:33 Marriage
Look at Ephesians 5:33 from the NIV Bible. It says, "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." What do you think when you read this? It is not a very popular suggestion in our western culture today, that is for sure! According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of the book Love & Respect, the relationship between these two callings has everything to do with the kind of marriage you will have.
The Crazy Cycle in Marriage
Dr. Eggerichs begins by describing "The Crazy Cycle." Here is an example of this theory:
A wife bakes a chocolate cake for her husband. He has been working all day, and she wants to surprise him with a sweet treat she knows he will enjoy. He returns home after a long day in the office, sees the cake, and reacts by saying "Oh, chocolate cake, again?" Now the wife is offended, feels unloved, and is quite certain he does not deserve any of this cake after that comment. So the wife bitterly attacks, "You sit in an office all day while I slave away in this house, and this is the thanks I get?!" The husband rolls his eyes and sits in the recliner. The wife throws the cake at him.
In this example, the wife felt unloved and rejected by her husband, and reacts in a disrespectful, contemptuous manner. The husband reacts with annoyance, and carries on with his regular routine. The wife returns with another act of carelessness, and the Crazy Cycle continues!
Steps to Creating a Rewarding Marriage
First of all, wives, like your husband, not just love him. Like implies respect, which is demonstrated by believing in him, having his back and spending time with him. Your husband yearns for your friendship. You can still show him respect, even if you do not feel like it. Make a point to do so.
Husbands, love you wives. It is not only a biblical commandment, but a God-created need in her. Love her, even when she disrespects you. It falls on you both to stop the negative cycle. In some cases, one partner might not be willing. Do what you know to do anyways.
Further Reading on Marriage
To learn more about building a better marriage, read Dr. Eggerich's Love & Respect. Another great resource is MarriageToday.
Now, get started towards building a successful marriage. You won't regret it!
Tessa Tegethoff - Tessa Tegethoff is a Contributing Writer for Suite 101, garden guru and an amateur (for now) photographer.
